Back to weddings - the good, the bad, and ...
I've had two weddings, only one real marriage. My first I can't deal with now. You wouldn't believe me anyway. My second was fun, but kinda strange.
Jan and I were studying, 2nd time around. I was teaching at Uni Stellenbosch. We lived in Somerset West, but we wanted the wedding on the farm. I was happy with that. My family has always been spread all over, Jan's were at the farm, or some were.
Which for any bride would send up warning signals - beware, this is not your territory!
I dutifully wrote out handmade invitations to all and sundry in copperplate, and inserted nice little dried grasses. As a divorcee, I could dispense with the daughter of... and son of... stuff. It was just "Jan and I invite you". Nice and simple. New dress. New suit (only suit). Haircuts all round. Off we go to the farm in my little (meaning old) orange chinese car. Lots of hessian to decorate the food table for a 'rustic' winter lunch of goulasch soup in a large tureen, bubbling away scentsaciously...
crusty breads, cheeses, beautiful wine glasses and bottles, lots of cool crunchy greens and cherry tomatoes...you get the picture.
But no, that was not to be. Instead the farmers in the vicinity (not many of whom were invited, to be honest) would bring their special dishes. So we would have koeksisters, lasagne (mainly meat, no tomato or bechamel sauce), bobotie, and many more meats and baked puddings. No greens, no wine glasses (only tumblers) and warmish Capenheimer wine.
Definitely *No* hessian.
On the positive side, the food was hearty and familiar to everyone there, because only one of our friends (Amy Schoeman) could make it. She also did the photographs. Still happy with them, even though a bit faded pink now.
Jan's one sister was there, and my parents and an uncle - none of my brothers. Most of the neighbours came, the workers came (but were not invited in...at least they sang and laughed and danced, no other music!!!!) and Jan's lovely grandparents were there. So there were a lot of old people. Luckily we had Etienne - my son - who was then 5 years old and had a delightful, naughty sense of humour even then!
But, as the adverts say "that's not all", not by far!
As disbelievers in religion, and because we both loved him, we wanted my father, a retired magistrate to marry us right there in the ample lounge of my future parents-in-law. Ta-daam! Alarms going off all around.
I arranged the temporary licence for Dad to perform the ceremony and got the books from the Magistrate's Office in Windhoek.
My parents and I were generously put up in an empty farmhouse which later became Jan's and my home. But at that stage it had no electricity, only a couple of chairs en three single beds, and NO HOT WATER! It was winter.
My bridal getting ready was seriously jeopardized! A very quick wash in cold water, no hairdryer, and no mirror for applying much needed make-up! Luckily the side mirror of the bakkie sufficed.
But not feeling at my best...
Jan met us outside the gate with a big welcoming smile. Things started getting a little better.
Etienne was 'best man'.
But in the wedding ceremony, things got worse!
Unbeknownst to us, Jan parents had arranged for a 'dominee' from the Dutch Reformed church (to which I didn't belong) to come and officiate.
My Dad performed the ceremony saying " Let's get through this boring stuff as quickly as we can. The important things have already been promised and decided between you people". Made sense to me!
The minute he got up to congratulate us, the dominee stepped in and started a religious wedding ceremony, saying that the previous was not really legally binding before god. We were enraged, my father was humiliated, and I wanted to object. But they were my future in-laws...Oy vey.. we sat through it sulkily. Then we had some warm wine. Started smiling. Jimmy, Jan's brother-in-law, made a humourous short speech (thank heavens) about balls and chains - and we ate. Heavy but tasty. And the atmosphere turned out great!
And then we went on a marvellous honeymoon to Lesotho....horses, iced waterfalls, warm fires
I've had two weddings, only one real marriage. My first I can't deal with now. You wouldn't believe me anyway. My second was fun, but kinda strange.
Jan and I were studying, 2nd time around. I was teaching at Uni Stellenbosch. We lived in Somerset West, but we wanted the wedding on the farm. I was happy with that. My family has always been spread all over, Jan's were at the farm, or some were.
Which for any bride would send up warning signals - beware, this is not your territory!
I dutifully wrote out handmade invitations to all and sundry in copperplate, and inserted nice little dried grasses. As a divorcee, I could dispense with the daughter of... and son of... stuff. It was just "Jan and I invite you". Nice and simple. New dress. New suit (only suit). Haircuts all round. Off we go to the farm in my little (meaning old) orange chinese car. Lots of hessian to decorate the food table for a 'rustic' winter lunch of goulasch soup in a large tureen, bubbling away scentsaciously...
crusty breads, cheeses, beautiful wine glasses and bottles, lots of cool crunchy greens and cherry tomatoes...you get the picture.
 |
| Jan entertaining the elderly |
Definitely *No* hessian.
On the positive side, the food was hearty and familiar to everyone there, because only one of our friends (Amy Schoeman) could make it. She also did the photographs. Still happy with them, even though a bit faded pink now.
Jan's one sister was there, and my parents and an uncle - none of my brothers. Most of the neighbours came, the workers came (but were not invited in...at least they sang and laughed and danced, no other music!!!!) and Jan's lovely grandparents were there. So there were a lot of old people. Luckily we had Etienne - my son - who was then 5 years old and had a delightful, naughty sense of humour even then!
 |
| Jan's dad looks on nervously from behind us |
But, as the adverts say "that's not all", not by far!
 |
| Congratulations |
I arranged the temporary licence for Dad to perform the ceremony and got the books from the Magistrate's Office in Windhoek.
My parents and I were generously put up in an empty farmhouse which later became Jan's and my home. But at that stage it had no electricity, only a couple of chairs en three single beds, and NO HOT WATER! It was winter.
My bridal getting ready was seriously jeopardized! A very quick wash in cold water, no hairdryer, and no mirror for applying much needed make-up! Luckily the side mirror of the bakkie sufficed.
But not feeling at my best...
 |
| Arriving at Silwerstroom |
Jan met us outside the gate with a big welcoming smile. Things started getting a little better.
Etienne was 'best man'.
But in the wedding ceremony, things got worse!
Unbeknownst to us, Jan parents had arranged for a 'dominee' from the Dutch Reformed church (to which I didn't belong) to come and officiate.
My Dad performed the ceremony saying " Let's get through this boring stuff as quickly as we can. The important things have already been promised and decided between you people". Made sense to me!
The minute he got up to congratulate us, the dominee stepped in and started a religious wedding ceremony, saying that the previous was not really legally binding before god. We were enraged, my father was humiliated, and I wanted to object. But they were my future in-laws...Oy vey.. we sat through it sulkily. Then we had some warm wine. Started smiling. Jimmy, Jan's brother-in-law, made a humourous short speech (thank heavens) about balls and chains - and we ate. Heavy but tasty. And the atmosphere turned out great!
And then we went on a marvellous honeymoon to Lesotho....horses, iced waterfalls, warm fires
and 32 years later, here we still are :-)
Thanks Jan!
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